pillow talk

Tim Riggins is playing with the cute child next door. Matt Saracen is just being overall truthful and adorable. And Smash is being protective. I know I’m late, but every Monday is now reserved for snacks and Friday Night Lights. 

Go Panthers.

Let me tell you something that most people won’t in 2014 - sometimes life. just. sucks. And maybe you don’t need a reason. Maybe you woke up one day and decided you didn’t like your friends. Your apartment. Your comforter. And you don’t have anything for breakfast but the same granola and yogurt you’ve had for days that has lost its taste. You’re hungry for god’s sake. You’re discontent. And you don’t know how you got here.

Can I be one of the few people who are going to tell you this to your face? It’s OK to feel like that. Let me blow your mind by going a step further. It’s OK to not have a particular reason to feel this way. Sometimes you’re in a funk you know? But you’re cool. You’ll get over it. You have to know you’ll get over it.

I just finished working with my dream organization through the craziest season they will likely ever have. I loved it. And sometimes I didn’t. And when I didn’t I felt like a complete menace to society. Like I had the worst attitude ever and the people I spent all my days with have never seen someone feel angry. Or be real. There was this beautifully pressured groupthink that you had to be sacrificial and happy about it. There was this immediate turnaround that if you were having a bad day, you had to balance it with something really great.

Like “You know what? I hate having roommates. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE CLEAN THEIR DISHES?! but I’m getting to know so many great people so itsamazingandsofuniloveit!”

Or “I’m really tired of being poor and sometimes I’m so bored at work I walk to the bathroom to pop a pimple. But I’m so lucky to just be in this situation having this conversation with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Now. I’m not saying to quit being optimistic and conform to this idea that life is a bottomless pit of disappointment and bad moods. HELL NO. I love living. It’s honestly as simple as that. I love laughing and drinking coffee and running with my new Nikes on. (See. Immediate turnaround. Stop looking at me like that…)

This past year has taught me that we are all responsible for our feelings. We have to protect ourselves sometimes and let ourselves feel and recognize every emotion that passes through us. People who care about you will tell you when you are losing your mind and hold you accountable to becoming sane when it’s time to get over it. 

One of my friends always tells me you have to have the sour to appreciate the sweet. Its not the most groundbreaking thought and it makes me feel like a Sour Patch kid, but he’s right. Don’t forget it.

“Go after her. Don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.”

-Harvey Milk via this article that completely explains me.

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